I have a lot of gamer friends. I love you all, don’t ever change.
So it’s already been decided, Team Fortress Two is a sweet game. That’s a hard to argue fact, especially when taking into account that it’s consistently scored well on review sites like 1up, Gamespy and IGN. The point is, games like this don’t come out too often, and the eclectic mix of character personalities, unique graphics, replay value, online appeal, comedic delivery and cartoonesque violence all make a very well balanced game. They even run updates for the game that keep things balanced and current, along with their terrific TF2 blog, which is something I can’t give them enough praise about. But while I seem to be star-struck by this game, like all good relationships, they just can’t be built on aesthetics alone.
So going back, my first real interaction with the game came from watching the short film “Meet the Engineer“, and subsequently doing some research about the game from there. Once I saw some videos, and read some wikis, I quickly found a liking for the game. It was like watching an adult swim cartoon, with nutty assassins and ridiculous amounts of cartoon blood spilling out of some bloke’s headshot. It wasn’t soon after, the game hit it big amongst my friends. They liked it for the same reason I did, it was zany, and it was made by Valve.
So nearly every day in my computer graphics class, my friend Alex would sit next to me. After helping me to finish my flash project, he would share his TF2 stories, and detailing the checks and balances system that is the characters of the game. He would tell about each class of weapons, clue me in on the “sandvich” and the latest updates for the game. But all the while that I was following the game, my excuses for playing, was that my computer just couldn’t run the game. So after (not too long ago) getting a computer that could run the game, my other friend Andrew was kind enough to send me a free trial to play, via Steam. So I cracked open a Dew and sat down to play, hoping this game wouldn’t cement what I already knew to be true about online games.
But alas, even such a magnificent game falls victim to the perils of internet faggery and exploitation.
So here’s what I mean. Nearly seconds after the invention of the online game, came the evolution of the internet gamer. Armed with nothing but time, a computer that’s always better than mine, and a knack for headshots (or, just a really good hack) the internet gamer exists to make the lives of n00bs and inexperienced players a living hell, despite them being n00bs once before. A whole hierarchy of necessary hatred and brutality exists, exacerbated by the various internet memes and 4chans of the world. The world’s biggest dicks (IE, those forty-year old guys who yell at baseball games, and answer calls at the theater) are given free reign to terrorize online servers, in the completely anonymous realm of the world wide web. These people also exploit any sense of trickery or corner-cutting in the game. TF2 exists by having a constant rotation of paper-rock-scissor style combat, but if any such way to fight paper with rock comes up (which happens, because not every system is perfect) it’s run into the ground, and causes a rift in the game’s dynamics, pressuring the already novice fighters to adapt a version of the game offset from the original intention.
So fuck it, that’s reason enough right there to avoid online gaming. I have neither the patience nor the good nature to sift through game after game to find a good crew to run with, that utilize both team-work and a good sense of conduct to bring to the game. Now I realize I’m alienating my friends here, but I’m speaking about the gaming community as a whole. The chances of all of us playing a solid game together is usually shot to pieces with people working, managing school and lacking the technology to do so. Having a group of friends for online games is fun, but it’s only in a blue moon that you can actually accomplish a game.
So the final nail in my TF2 coffin is simply time management. After playing my trial of Team Fortress, I was simply dead weight on whatever server I joined. I don’t know any of the buttons, controls, or common knowledge of strategy or combat, which for a game like TF2, has to be built through hours of gameplay. Hours that I don’t want to dedicate to online game. First off, I hate gaming on my computer. The keyboard is meant for typing, not for complex button mashing and controls, that why the joystick was invented. In fact, that’s why the whole video game controller was invented, to be an ergonomically correct and comfortable way to play video games the way they should be played, on a console.
Like I said to my friend Andrew, sure, I could learn the drums, but the amount of time it would take to get proficient enough to enjoy playing, would far surpass the amount of time I’m willing to spend learning, as it’s no fun. The same applies with online video games. The amount of time it would take to not get killed every game I play in, would far stretch far beyond what’s fun for me. Then the game becomes just another task, almost like work. I’d need to work at learning the controls, and keeping up with the current trends, all things that aren’t fun for me.
So where am I now? I’m left with the fact that I’m not a big video game person these days, which I don’t hold against TF2. Back in the day, I was all about the N64, but because of the wanton price jacking and the technological inefficiencies, not all of us have the money to blow on a six-hundred dollar Xbox to shoot up some zombies for a day. I figured if TF2 was playable for me, it would relaunch my love for gaming. But I neither want to allocate all of my money for Orange Boxes, nor my time for fragging. It’s just not for me. It’s the same reason I wanted not to waste my time and money for WoW, only to have the excitement die down two years later, and have nothing to show for it. The only different with that and TF2, was that I was already building hype and excitement for the concept of the game, but I was still let down, due to the pitfalls of the gaming scene these days. And as sad as it is, and as much as I never wanted it to happen in my youth, I’ve become simply a casual gamer. As for the case of TF2, I’m in love with the concept, not with theT application.
I have my Wii, and I have my old copies of Alpha Centauri and Starcraft to get me through boring weekends. But as for being a hardcore online gamer, I’ll leave that job to somebody else.
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Update, from my friend Tony
http://twitter.com/holycrapitsTony/status/2128334423
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Tags: computer, computer games, console games, fragging, games, gaming, n00b, Team Fortress 2, TF2, Valve, video games
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