Update: Oct. 21st
I added the AirForce.com descriptions and tasks to each job

Well I haven’t had quite the time I’d like to really compile this list with my full thoughts and with full descriptions. However -for anyone curious- you can just simply search these to find a wealth of descriptions and information on what they are more technically, and where and for how long I train.

I’m just trying to get this list all penned so everyone I know can see what I’ve picked, but expect this post to get a little cut up and changed as I free up some time to write a longer description of what MEPS was like, and what my job list really means.

And for those wondering, I don’t have a ship date yet. That comes only after I’ve been assigned one of these jobs, and have that job re-written into a new active duty contract. Then I can finally get a ship date. (So no need to freak out just yet)

1. Knowledge Operations Management

The one tool more powerful than missiles is the information used to launch them. Every department of the Air Force survives on the management and distribution of information and data. As an Information Management specialist, you can be assigned to any unit in the Air Force. From working to create launch manuals in the publications department to storing and disposing of high-level documents in the records department, information management is an integral part of the daily function of the Air Force

* Perform, supervise and manage data, information and knowledge-sharing services in a fixed and expeditionary environment
* Plan, coordinate, share and control an organization’s data and information assets
* Manage technologies to capture, organize and store tacit and explicit knowledge

2. Material Management

From top-secret technology to paper clips, every Airman needs equipment and supplies to do their job. As part of the largest supply operation in the world, Material Management specialists manage the complex logistical puzzle of getting the right thing to the right place at the right time.

* Manage, administer and operate supply systems and activities in order to provide the necessary equipment and supplies for Air Force operations
* Perform item and monetary accounting and inventory stock control
* Responsible for financial planning, funds control, requirements computation, allowances determination, research and identification of supplies and equipment
* Responsible for demand processing, mission support, the customer service unit, retail sales, mobility and training

3. Operations Intelligence

The success of any mission depends just as much on the planning and intelligence behind it as the Airmen who are carrying it out. As an Operations Intelligence Specialist, you’ll work as part of a team to analyze all incoming information, looking for key elements that will help with missions. Through your combined research, you’ll create databases of information as well as materials to support combat mission planning and ensure our Airmen never go into battle blind.

* Analyze and produce intelligence information
* Develop and construct target materials in support of combat mission planning and execution
* Evaluate intelligence information to determine whether it’s accurate and then disseminate to appropriate levels of command
* Create databases for enemy forces, equipment, location and capabilities to aid all levels of command
* Provide intelligence briefings to commanders and aircrews
* Provide information and materials to commanders and mission planners for mission construction and execution

4. Communication Signals Intelligence

“It’s classified” will be your response when anyone asks what you do when you’re a Communications Signals Intelligence specialist. At its core, this job requires you to operate sophisticated equipment in order to intercept electronic signals in various forms.

You’ll have to interpret and analyze those signals to collect intelligence that you’ll then forward up the chain of command. You’ll also have to learn basic maintenance for the equipment you use because you could be in situations where tech support isn’t available or even cleared to help you.

* Proficient in international Morse Code and use receiving and recording equipment
* Find and receive signals from specific stations by selecting the proper antenna for specific frequency ranges or type of signal
* Use both manual and special electronic typewriters
* Use various types of classified reference materials to develop your ability to interpret and analyze communications so you can isolate certain information for detailed analysis and reporting
* Perform maintenance repair on expensive electronic equipment so it operates efficiently

5. Weather

Countless factors can affect the outcome of a mission, including something as simple as the weather. As a Weather Specialist, you’ll predict weather patterns and prepare forecasts, as well as brief pilots and commanders on weather conditions. There are eight weather squadrons around the world supporting our war fighters, which means you could end up doing your job in the United States or overseas.

* Analyze weather conditions, prepare forecasts, issue weather warnings and brief weather information to pilots
* Read and interpret weather satellite imagery, climatology reports, computerized weather prediction models and Doppler weather radar imagery
* Operate a weather radar console and a high-frequency pilot-to-metro radio
* Analyze and forecast weather elements such as clouds, visibility, winds, atmospheric pressure and many other parameters

6. Contracting

The Air Force takes its use of taxpayer money very seriously. That’s why Contracting specialists have strict standards and practices they must follow before awarding any contract. They must be master negotiators and have an exacting attention to detail. This is a critical position in the Air Force as every penny counts in helping us complete our mission.

* Buy equipment, supplies, services and construction to support base activities
* Review the purchase request description for completeness to determine the best method of contracting and advise the requester of problems associated with the purchase
* Select the source for the requirement, which involves checking publications that list companies and their products
* Prepare and send solicitation documents to companies for price quotes
* Analyze prices before preparing an order or contract
* Perform administrative orders and contract files, write letters to companies and base activities, prepare computer input data sheets and check computer data cards
* Learn to resolve contract problems

7. Diagnostic Imaging

The Air Force provides full-service healthcare to every single Airmen. That means having specialists on staff to meet every medical need. As a Diagnostic Imaging specialist, you’ll learn to take x rays of the entire body requiring an intimate knowledge of human anatomy in settings ranging from surgery centers to imaging rooms. As your career progresses, you can specialize in fields such as mammography, ultrasound, MRI and others. Whatever your career path, know that your skills and input will make a big difference in the care of the people you treat.

* Operate various types of imaging equipment to perform many types of radiologic exams
* Engage with sick and injured patients and be able to make decisions affecting their diagnosis and care
* Specialize in radiography, computed tomography, mammography, ultrasound, MRI or nuclear medicine

8. Biomedical Equipment

The Air Force operates medical facilities around the world from level 1 trauma centers to remote field clinics. No matter where the facility is, it has the all the equipment necessary to treat our Airmen, and if something breaks, an Air Force Biomedical Equipment specialist is there to fix it. You won’t just learn how to replace parts; you’ll learn how to repair components and circuit boards because when you’re in the middle of nowhere, you can’t send out for parts, especially when lives are on the line.

* Install, inspect, repair and modify biomedical equipment and support systems
* Knowledge in clinical applications, operation, inspection and maintenance of approximately 40 different medical devices and systems
* Use equipment such as dental operatory systems, steam sterilizers, electrocardiographs, defibrillators, physiological monitors, anesthesia systems, ventilators, clinical chemistry analyzers, fixed and mobile x-ray systems, field support equipment and computers
* Knowledge of advanced principles in electronics, pneumatics, hydraulics, mechanics and other physical sciences as it applies to medical technology
* Perform preventive maintenance and safety inspections, mechanical and electronic troubleshooting to component-level and job-related administrative actions

9. Aerospace Maintenance

Before an Air Force plane gets in the air, it has to first get by an Aerospace Maintenance specialist. In this role, you’ll be responsible for ensuring the plane is in perfect working order. If it’s not, you’ll work with specialists to repair what’s broken and get the plane ready to go. Pre-flight, you’ll give the plane one final look over to make sure it’s serviced with fuel, hydraulic fluid and liquid oxygen before giving it your final approval. Why does an Aerospace Maintenance specialist have so much responsibility? Because it’s not just a plane you’re putting in the air; it’s also a pilot.

* Perform scheduled inspections and preventive maintenance on aircraft and aircraft-installed equipment
* Execute post-flight examination to ensure aircraft is still in operating-ready condition
* Maintain and repair aircraft, performing general mechanical work as opposed to working on a specific system

10. Cyber Surety

A new battlefield has emerged and its conflicts are fought across the internet networks and computers of the world. In Cyber Surety, you’ll use every tool at your disposal from programming to hardware in order to detect and repel cyber attacks on our computer systems and infrastructure. Whether it’s a radar system or an intelligence database, your skills will keep them safe and sound.

* Supervise or operate fixed and deployed information technology (IT) and telecommunications resources to monitor, evaluate and maintain systems, policy and procedures to protect clients, networks, data/voice systems and databases from unauthorized activity
* Identify potential threats and manage resolution of security violations
* Enforce national, DoD, and Air Force security policies and directives; employ hardware and software tools to enhance the security by installing, monitoring, and directing proactive and reactive information protection and defensive measures to ensure Confidentiality, Integrity, and Availability (CIA) of IT resources
* Administer and manage the overall Information Assurance (IA) program to include Communications Security (COMSEC), Emissions Security (EMSEC) and Computer Security (COMPUSEC) programs

11. Cyber Systems Operations

The Air Force relies heavily on advanced computer and software systems, and thus it is paramount to keep those systems safe. Cyber Systems Operations specialists design, install and support our systems to ensure they operate properly and are secure from outside intrusion. The future of warfare relies heavily on having the best, most secure systems, and these specialists work to make sure ours meet the bill.

* Install, support and maintain servers or other computer systems and plan for responding to service outages and interruptions to network operations
* Administer server-based networked systems, distributed applications, network storage, messaging and application monitoring required to provide, sustain, operate and integrate cyber networked systems and applications in garrison and at deployed locations
* Knowledgeable in server operating systems, database administration, web technologies and systems-related project management
* Support identification, reconnaissance and exploitation of vulnerabilities while enhancing capabilities within cyber environments to achieve desired effects

Leave any comments and questions in the box, and I’ll try and answer them the best I can.

It’s maddening.

You know, I watched the Republican candidate debate a few days ago, and it really got my mind going. After watching it, I went and logged on to my computer trying to make sense of everything. I figured that since one of those eight people might be my boss some day, it might be a good idea to learn about them now. Nobody said or did anything to surprise me, and the whole even was actually pretty tame for what I figured. But regardless, I just couldn’t get it off my mind for the next few days. Political implications, our nation’s future- all that stuff.

And then it hit me, what might be the most overlooked benefit of joining the Air Force I could think of. I realized just how great of a feeling it’s going to be, that for the next four years I’ll have absolutely no time to worry about anything other than sleep and work. Nobody wants to voluntarily turn into a work-sleep zombie, but I think it’s actually a pretty comfortable feeling to that for the next 48 months, getting to sleep will be last on my list.

I don’t want to use the overplayed phrase that I “can’t turn my brain off”, but once I get a big picture in my head, I like to think it through. Even if it takes a week of deep thought during my waking hours, I’m glad that part of my brain will be too worked to even consider anything but dying for eight hours.

Just a comforting thought.

Also, as an update to my saga, I heard back from my recruiter the other day, and it seems that I’ve been cleared with my pre-screen to go to MEPS. Now, the only thing holding me back from enlisting is actually going through the process of MEPS, which will be as soon as they’re able to squeeze me in. Likely, next month, but I’m hoping that they’ll have room for me this month.

The Cincinnati Zombies are back, for the 2011 fantasy football season. My brother was kind enough to both host the league this year, and to hold our (now forth) annual live-draft on a day I had off from work. So I was able to sit down with my white-board charts of busts and sleepers and go to work getting myself the best team I could put together. I haven’t followed the pre-season too much this year, but I feel like I put together a solid corp.

My strategy was stock up on running talent as quickly as I could, which meant taking LeSean McCoy with my first pick (3rd overall), and McFadden next before worrying about my receivers or quarterback. With 14 teams I already decided that getting a QB would be a low priority, so I chose Hakeem Nicks and Felix Jones with my next picks to round out running depth and add a quality to starter to my wideouts.

Then I found myself able to secure Mark Sanchez later in the draft as a decent quarterback to my team, and later Alex Smith as a replacement. And finally after adding the Giants to my team, I filled the bench with extra receivers and ‘backs that could help in my byes – which I payed much less attention to than I should have. Point is, week seven is going to be a loss.

Starters

Mark Sanchez
(QB -New York Jets)

The more I think about it, the happier I am with this pick. Sanchez was by far the best QB on the board at the time, and I think will be a consistent starter capable of a decent season. Though I don’t think he’ll suddenly snap into a touchdown machine, I think with another year to improve his skills, he’ll do well without the risk of a total collapse in offensive potency. He’s just the kind of low-risk, low reward, consistent signal caller I was hoping for. I was hoping to snag Stafford with a late pick, and almost went Flacco, but I think it worked.

LeSean McCoy
(RB – Philadelphia Eagles)

Untitled by cathleen poulton on Flickr.

LeSean was my first round pick, which I had in my head as my lock for the first round weeks before we entered the draft. It’s no secret I’m an Eagles fan-boy this year, which means I think they’re due for a breakout season. So combine my thoughts about Philly with average ranks, and I think this rusher was perfect for 3rd overall. I’m hoping he can stay healthy and fit, and be the workhorse of my team. He’s who I wanted, and I got him exactly when and where I was hoping for.

Darren McFadden
(RB – Oakland Raiders)

I honestly don’t know much about McFadden. The only reason I took him was for the fact that I was trying to stock up on running talent at the time before the draft picked away good starters, and he simply seemed the best pick at the time. I didn’t want to reach for Felix Jones (who I had pegged as a sleeper) but I still needed a running back to help anchor my team’s point scoring. I can’t say somebody jumps out as a better pick in retrospect. Since I don’t know much about him, I’m only hoping he’s consistent and doesn’t make me look like an idiot for not researching running backs better.

Hakeem Nicks
(WR – New York Giants)

58613090 by chucky211 on Flickr.

I think Hakeem was my first real reach of the draft, as their was probably better receiver talent on the board at the time, but I took Nicks because I just had the gut feeling. Some players stand out in your head as having certain qualities you want on your team. I just couldn’t shake the feeling that Nicks is due, and I know I’d regret not picking him more than I would picking him and him being a bust.

Brandon Lloyd
(WR – Denver Broncos)

Brandon Lloyd was just another example of taking who I thought to be the best player in his position at the time. I’m not really happy with how much I ended up drafting Oakland and Denver players, but he simply fit the bill at the time. But maybe his relationship with Kyle Orton, and playing in the west can culminate into Lloyd being a reliable pick for my second ride receiver slot. But I’m not worried, because receiver depth isn’t something I expect to have much of a problem with.

Zach Miller
(TE – Seattle Seahawks)

So far, the tight end position has been my biggest regret for the draft this year. I forgot to let to the draft dictate when I should reach for certain positions, because even with a run on TEs, I would have still had time to grab a sleeper or better value. But stupidly I reached for Miller (an obvious bust) and have regretted since. I hope he can be a consistent starter, but I’m already looking for ways to get him off my team in exchange for somebody I can feel comfortable with.

Felix Jones
[Flex] (RB – Dallas Cowboys)

This Cowboys rusher was on the top of my sleepers list this year, and a few different articles and lists I compiled from the internet had justified my thoughts – I was just happy to be able to grab Felix later rather than sooner. I didn’t need to reach, and have him for my flex position and to fill running back bye weeks. Unfortunately if he goes down, he takes with him my entire running depth. As much as I valued running depth, my final roster didn’t really reflect that. Felix is crucial to my season this year, in many different ways.

Stephen Gostkowski
(PK – New England Patriots)

This is was a comfort pick for me, as I’ve had this sharpshooter on my team for three of the four years I’ve played fantasy football. Basically he’s never let me down, which is all I ask for in a kicker. He’s no better or worse than any other kicker, and I greatly considered not even drafting a kicker. But here we are, with Gostkowski on my team.

New York Giants
(D/ST)

I’m already not feeling comfortable with the New York Giants special teams for the ’11 season, but I realized that if I’m turning to my defense to score points, I need to rethink my fantasy strategy. Obviously scoring points is a fantastic bonus, but a defense should be consistent over anything else, and I’m looking for the Giants run stopping to pour a foundation for a decent defensive performance – certainly worth the low pick.

Bench

QB – Alex Smith (San Francisco 49ers)

Willis McGahee by Keith Allison on Flickr.

Essentially a backup for Mark Sanchez until the bye weeks blow over, then I consider him expendable for bench room. He’s no better than anyone I could pick up off waivers, so I’m not worried about losing him to another team as a trade incentive or if I need the room later in the season.

RB – Willis McGahee (Denver Broncos)

I always thought McGahee was one of the better running backs in the NFL during his time with the Ravens, he just never really got his big break. Regardless, I took him as a long shot in case injuries launch a veteran into a starting role, or in case he suddenly snaps into a point scorer. I can take him or leave him.

WR – Eddie Royal (Denver Broncos)

Honestly, I mixed up my buttons on the Fox Sports draft center, and took Royal over Houston Texans wideout Kevin Walter, whose bye week was what I was really looking for. If the waivers go through the way I’m hoping, then he’ll be on waivers by the end of the week, with a shiny new Kevin Walter in his place.

WR – Jacoby Ford (Oakland Raiders)

This guy was on everyone’s list for sleepers, so it was a no-brainer to put him on my bench and hope he’d mature into a safe bye week starter, and backup for my other receivers. If he becomes a superstar, then I can trade away the talent for running back depth, combine him for a heavier-hitting QB, or a tight end I can live with.

WR – Brandon Marshall (Miami Dolphins)

The final example of a player I took for the sake of depth. I don’t really know much about him either, but as long as he can put some somewhat decent numbers consistently, I can keep him around long enough to serve as a backup, or trade away any talent if he shows promise.

TE – Benjamin Watson (Cleveland Browns)

Benjamin Watson was my knee-jerk reaction to the Zach Miller decision I made earlier in the draft. I figured with his bye week cutting into bench space I’d need for other (more important) starters, I could draft one of the many extra TEs still available. So I took Watson to help replace Miller if need-be, or at the least as a backup come his bye week. Either way, the tight-end position is what I’ll most need to keep an eye on this year.

-

I’m extremely happy with my team this year, especially with LeSean and McFadden anchoring my running game, and with Nicks and Jones as possible break-outs. I tried not to get too wrapped up big names and big personalities, with a good sprinkling of sleepers and consistency, as well as taking some risk on a few players I hope will blossom into something I can use. I’m really ambitious about this season.

The last time I checked in with my blog, I dropped the fact that I was going to join the service, hinting at the Army as a possible branch, and telling some reasons why joining will be in my best interest. But it’s been a few weeks since that feeling of the big picture has worn off, and I’m wading through the thick of the actual paperwork it takes to enlist.

Believe it or not, it’s not as simple as walking in to an office and signing the dotted line. Actually, I quiet expected to have gimmicks and tricks thrown at me every step of my journey by recruiters trying to pad their stats, but the entire process has been slow and careful enough for me to double-check every one of my decisions. So far the enlistment process is nothing like I expected.

So here’s what’s changed since I last talked about this.

The biggest change would have to be that I’m joining the Air Force. Conversations with a lot of people involved either directly or indirectly with the service has led me to research and discover the Air Force is much more in line with what I’m looking for than any other branch.

The Air Force offers automatic enrollment in a community college that offers credit hours toward a degree, as well a much more supportive network for higher education. Whereas the Army -though more lucrative- seems to be a branch I’m a little too overqualified to work for. And I don’t mean that with any sense of judgment or vanity, but simply from looking at ASVAB scores objectively.

89.365_air_force_logo, a photo by ToddMorris on Flickr.

So what does joining the Air Force mean over joining the Army? Honestly, not much. The pay grades for all branches are the same, meaning I’m going to make the same as a basic Airman (in the Air Force) as I would as a private in the Army, and the G.I. Bill benefits extend to all Armed Services members – regardless of branch. What it does change, is that I’ll be wearing blue instead of green, I’ll do my basic in Lackland, Texas, and have to deal with more airplanes than any of the other branches. But until I have stripes on my sleeve, I’m just the low man on the totem poll.

The next big thing was the ASVAB. I took it, I did well on it, and I and don’t have to take it again. I spent a great deal of my time studying for it, and a caused myself a good deal of dread worrying over what this would do for my careers. But I came out of the testing station where I had sat for five hours filling in bubbles with an composite score of 84 – which qualifies me for enough jobs in the Air Force to essentially guarantee that I can find something I’ll look forward to doing.

Then came the packet, of which I also managed to complete. It housed several pages of questions ranging from if I’ve ever worked as an officer in a terrorist cell – to if I’ve ever dislocated a knee or elbow. I gathered the names of references to use for residences, my job and work history, going back to grab my diploma and getting a costly file faxed over from a previous family councilor. A word of advice to anyone thinking about joining, go ahead and start figuring out history on everything you’ve ever done. The Armed Services require a lot of personal information.

But all of that has led me to where I am now, which is just waiting on the US government to digest that packet, and send a letter back to my recruiter that says I’m fit for MEPS. All I’m waiting for, is a green light from the powers that be. For all intense and purpose, things are out of my hands.

So then comes the future of my military service career, the things I still have yet complete, MEPS being the first of those hurtles. MEPS stands for Military Entrance Processing Station, and the name alone should be a not-so-subtle hint that I when I leave for MEPS the chances are better than not that I come back enlisted.

But what MEPS is, is essentially a way for the military to protect their investments. Which means making sure I’m psychically able to handle the armed forces, and that no pre-existing conditions will or could prevent me serving my country. This means getting bussed to a hotel in Columbus or Lexington, and having the US government wake me up at six AM, stuffing my mouth with a continental breakfast, and giving me an entire day of vision, hearing and drug tests.

MEPS, for argument’s sake, is the final step of my joining that could somehow prevent me from enlisting. Which means that if they find my heart to be defective, or a previous head-trauma to be somehow unhealed, this is the Air Force’s final out for not taking me. And while I’m trying not to fill my head with all the of negative possibilities, this is my next big step.

So most people have asked me when I leave. All of the dates for me leaving for basic, and all of the details about what I’ll be doing are now dependent on MEPS. As a byproduct of a stringent medical exam, I get a definitive list of what jobs I’ll be physically disqualified for. I can’t fly planes if I’m colorblind, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do other things. So combine my list of jobs I’m physically qualified for – and ASVAB qualified for (most of them), I then take that list of jobs available and whittle that to ten. Not an arbitrary number, but a way for the Air Force to let me choose ten jobs that I would want to do, and then guarantee me one of those jobs.

But what’s a little condescending about me sitting down with a job councilor to make a list of ten jobs, is that any of those ten jobs are subject to how much the Air Force needs them. Right now, my dream Air Force job is Emergency Management – but if the Air Force is overstaffed with Emergency Managers, means I’ll leave for basic when they need a few one, which could be literally twelve months.

So the more likely situation is that in my list of ten jobs, I have a few that maybe I’m a little overqualified for, or maybe don’t offer me the dream degree credits, but are available to me now. And right now, being able to leave in the next few months is important. I’m tired of sitting around here, and I’m growing more and more excited to jump in to the service.

But if you’re worried I’ll be stuck doing a job I’m not crazy about for all four years, well, good news and bad. The bad being, yeah, kind of. I can’t name a single job that has you doing what you want to be doing in your dreams right away. Basically, you’ve gotta put in your time like anything else if it’s worth doing, even if that means putting in your time doing a job you don’t like. But the good news is that I’m only locked in with my job for three years. If I’m a fuel pumper for three years and during that time the Air Force gets an opening for a job I DO want, I’ll have the ability to cross-train into a new job. And luckily for me, the Air Force can then decide if it wants to staff that job with a new recruit still in basic, or an Airman already three years into service.

And that’s why I’m so excited and eager to jump into this commitment. Because the sooner I jump in to getting basic done with, and getting my training over, the sooner I can settle into climbing the latter to do what I really want to do, civilian or military. Every day that goes by, I’ve wished I was yesterday where I am today. I’ve learned that figuring out what needs to be done today, builds into setting yourself up for tomorrow. But I can’t think about my future until I’ve learned to build a foundation for now. And that’s what I’ve been trying to get out of this experience.

So stop me if all this talk is starting to make me sound like a college basketball coach, because I’m trying to let my actions do the talking. But as always, I want to hear from everyone in however you’re most comfortable talking to me. So far everyone’s been supportive and very caring, and it’s helped me build a foundation.

What’s now a few months ago -hard to believe- was something I’m kind of regretting having not blogged about sooner. I was lucky enough to catch my favorite guitarist Buckethead, play live at the Madison. What’s even more important was the fact I managed to catch my favorite guitarist live, with Kristine.

I know I’ve told the story before that Kristine and I had apparently seen Buckethead the same night, in front of the same stage in the same area of the venue. In what we found out was just a mere twenty feet, we had both been seeing the same show just a few short months before we met. It’s always been one of our favorite little details of our relationship.

But finally we got to go as a couple, which, can really change the dynamic of seeing live music. For instance, seeing Iron Maiden live was more enjoyable for the sake of seeing my friend Jake happy, than it actually was seeing Iron Maiden.

buckethead annex madison 2, a photo by amandagaze on Flickr.

In a similar experience for that night, just being able to share a passion, and just having somebody as interested in something as you are is so important. So I really have nothing to say about the show that you wouldn’t already imagine, or that I didn’t cover the first time I saw him live. He plays great, he puts on a great show, and it’s always magic.

But what really made this show great, was the company. I just hope that I never lose the ability to enjoy doing or seeing something for the sake of my company than just for the entertainment value of the event alone. I’ve found out more than ever in the last year that people around me are my most important asset. So seeing them happy, is starting to really make me happy.

The other day I was sitting in the break room at work waiting to clock in. And in the break room, the walls are lined with so many OSHA flip-charts and sexual harassment papers that I didn’t take the effort to look to see if anything had changed. But while sitting in silence with the other employees, I noticed my boss walk by the room, and after a quick moment of eye contact stop walking and retrace a few steps to pop her head in the door way.

She said my name out loud, which I figured meant I had something to be worried about. I thought, she had caught that order of fries I never rung up.

But, she directed my attention (and inadvertently everyone else in the room) to the board on the wall that had our sales goals for the month. Percentages of desserts sold, soda sales, entrees, and a few other measurable categories for food and drink.

And apparently out of all other servers, and I literally mean all other serves, I was the only one to meet all of my goals. Some by just one percent, others by a enough to brag about, but the the only one to get the minimum score in all categories, beating out several other servers with just one category missing.

Sharpied over everything, were the words “New Guy Beats All?”, as if I was an underdog prize fighter.

It’s hard to get excited to go to work. I imagine even rock-stars don’t want to go to work some days, but I only know that it’s easier when sometimes you say the right things to the right people, and suggest just enough desserts to get a you little recognition for what you do. I still consider myself the weakest server there, but it feels good to have physical proof of getting better.

Honestly it’s something I’m not proud to say, but life works in weird ways. After my parent’s divorce I ended up living with my father, finding myself in a condo that he payed the rent for while I was looking for a job. Well I finally found that job, but about a month too late.

And what sucks the most is how bad I feel for my roommate. Together we were living in Ohio together, kickin’ ass in our own condo and gettin’ shit done. We both really liked the freedom of living on our own, having people over when we wanted, gaming until the sun came up and having somebody crashed on our couch every night.

But the real world found me, and I derailed the gravy-train for Steven and I, to which I feel pretty bad about. Not to mention the financial burden I put on the people around me, my parents especially. But I’m trying to shrug it off sure, but I think the stupider lesson would be to not learn something from it. Obviously I feel like shit about the whole process, but it’s something that my actions will help speak louder than anything I can say at this point.

But the good thing to come out of this is the obvious reduction in possessions. I mean, I’ve been looking for a cathartic purge for a while now, and having to take everything out of your house that’s important to you in a month’s time is just that. And cut off a few weekends with work and weddings and you’ve basically got a few car-trips to take everything you want and need.

It’s actually pretty nice.

But at the end of the day I’m happy to still have a place to sleep. I can honestly say that Kristine’s been an enormous fountain of strength for me. She’s pushing me to follow up and complete things, has been there for me to help cope with all of this, and just plain been there to help me get shit from A to B. Plus my brother’s wedding, and she still rolls around like a rock star. God damn do I feel like the luckiest guy for getting to be with a woman like her.

So most of you probably saw by now that I got a job finally. Via the Facebook, or word of mouth. Or maybe you didn’t, whatever, I had a pretty grandiose vision that all of my friends get together to talk about me. Well either way, you heard it here that I got a job.

OH Milford – Frisch’s Big Boy, a photo by scottamus on Flickr.

So a few weeks ago I had to move* because basically I had no money to pay rent. So right when I have to pack up all my stuff and leave Ohio for Northern Kentucky, I get a job across the river in the Commonwealth. Seems that Frisch’s Big Boy were the only company smart enough to call me back, because now they’ve just staffed the best thing that’s ever happened to them.

*I’ll also talk about that later

Hehe, or maybe not, because two weeks into the job I’m just now standing on my own two feet in the place. My first few days were nothing but two of three hours of following my dining room leader around, writing down half of people’s orders and bringing them drinks while trying to remember my six-step process.

(Seat, order, suggest, repeat, call-back/pre-bus, check drop if you’re curious)

But on Monday (when I wrote this post) I got my first set of four tables in my own section. I had to remember to drop my own toast for breakfasts, and which one was the diet. (Diets are darker, by the way) Altogether it was a very humbling experience, especially because it teaches you who remembers having to do this for the first time and who doesn’t. But everyone I work with, 90% women, have all been super helpful to me, and super courteous. It makes an unbelievable difference when you can trust and communicate with the people around you.

But I mean, it’s still a job, and I still hate having a job. You’ll be glad to know that still stands for me. The learning curve that is waiting tables is a little tough to get over, especially in the small increments they’ve scheduled me. But it’s a paycheck. Albeit small, but it’s cash in my pocket at the end of the day and a tiring, oh so tiring reason to put me to sleep at night.

As far as the little stuff, you’ve been in a restaurant before. Most of you have worked retail jobs before enough to know that anything I say about my job is a drop in the bucket. I won’t regale you with tales of shitty customers or “that one big tip I got”, but I’ll just leave you with the simple explanation that I hate it there, but sometimes you can foster an environment that makes this tolerable, and one could even say enjoyable when you clock out with a paycheck and a 32oz Hi-C.

Oh yeah, I’m trying to quit soda too.

Or more commonly refereed to as the ASVAB.

So, I’m a few years out of high school now. Just two, but going on three. And I have yet to pick up any paperwork in the way of college. I mean I want to go, not just for the fact that you can’t really get a good career without a degree – but just for the sake of accomplishing higher education. I’m filled my brain with such a romanticized idea of what college was, that by the time I actually needed to focus on getting there – things fell apart.

So enter me, now a server living in Northern Kentucky* with all of fifty bucks to my name, and sleeping on borrowed sheets. Trust me, if you think this shit’s getting old – then you can’t imagine how I feel. And there comes a certain depression with having no fucking clue about what to do with your life.

*I’ll talk more about that later.

But the time is finally reaching a fever pitch for me, a time to grapple out of the sinkhole I’ve put myself in and do something big. So, I’m going to join the Army.

Senior NCOs educate, mentor troops to improve ASVAB, a photo by The 4th Infantry Division on Flickr.

So, I don’t ship out tomorrow. Nor do I ship out in a month, nor do I have an idea of when I’m off to basic, where I’ll be stationed or what I’ll be doing. Honestly at this point, I’m not even sure what branch I’m going to enlist in. But the fact is, I’ve made up my mind that this is what I need.

So here are my reasons. Obviously, it’s a big help financially. I hate to boil life choices down to a monetary value, but maybe it’s my distain for taking money seriously that’s gotten me into this mess. I don’t have money, and we all have to face the fact that you need it. Especially if you’re going to raise a family.

So, I just dropped the “f” word. Yeah, and it’s a little deep of an issue to get in to, but Kristine and I have entered in to a serious relationship. It’s no secret that I’ve got long-term plans on my mind with this girl, both for being there to help her succeed, but with possibility of settling down. And it would be oh-so-wonderful to have the webbing of the military infrastructure to help me raise a family.

Healthcare is a long term deal with me, and especially putting in context that some day I might have dependents and a wife to help care for. I’m fortunate enough to have gotten this far without any major problems, and I don’t want to stay on the optimist’s plan for much longer.

And then we have to talk about college again. Because, frankly, college isn’t cheap. Looking at scale models of student loans and the over-inflation of degrees from the last few years has instilled a very (what I think to be) justified fear the debt that comes with higher education. But the Armed Services means that’s paid for. Like, the US government picking up the whole check paid for.

But then… elephant in the room. I realize that we have a war going on, with no clear sign of a cutoff date. But as horrible as the military industrial complex is -and let’s not kid ourselves, it is- there’s still positions that need to be filled that aren’t pointing a gun at somebody else.

It might be naive of me to think I’ll get to do disaster relief work and clerical duties my entire four years, living in a base in Finland – but after putting in my time on the front lines like everyone else, I have a shot at working at a desk for a living, getting some exposure to the world that might spark an interest in a career. That right there is worth something big.

So I’ll be a little worried if I don’t get questions about this. Either e-mails or comments on the blog post, calling me, IMing me, Facebook message, that kind of thing. I want to hear what the people that are close to me have to say. Worries and concerns are feedback too, but I’m trying to make sure I figure out a plan for my life now, and a plan for later. Because who the fuck knows how things are going to turn out for me.

Thanks everyone.

And wish me luck on my ASVAB, this is make-or-break.